Presidential Address Marks Panic

Munching on Bagel-Bites and tator tots we watched what just might be the most historic primetime address by the worst president of all time. 

George W. Bush looked nervous; almost in a panic as he stared into the teleprompter reading his canned lines. His forehead and nose were crinkled like a guy on a sunny beach with no sunglasses. 

Bush accepted zero responsibility for eight years of runaway spending and wholesale deregulation of financial markets. There was no apology. He blamed you the American worker for purchasing homes you could not afford. He blamed faulty lending rules and greedy mortgage bankers. Everyone is to blame it seems but his administration. 

He issued dire warnings about what could happen in the coming weeks to American workers if his plan was not put in place.  “The entire economy is in danger right now,” he warned. “Millions of Americans could lose their jobs.”  Money market funds could evaporate, banks could stop lending, stocks could tumble, the value of your house could disappear, seniors stand to lose everything they have, unless that is………. you give 700 billion dollars to one man with the power to do with it as he sees fit, with no oversight.  That’s his plan. No really. That’s his plan. I’m not making this up….. 

This was not the cocky, angry George W. Bush we’ve all come to expect. This was a tense Bush, with out something to fall back on like “patriotism” or “the war on terror.” “The market is not functioning properly” he added. “Not passing this emergency plan would cost more later.”  

More than 700 billion dollars? I doubt it. 

This is the same guy who warned us about the weapons of mass destruction. The same guy who told us the energy spikes in the weeks before the Enron scandal were caused by California not building enough power plants. The same guy who said, “You’re doing a heck of a job Brownie.” Either he’s the boy who cried wolf or the emperor with no clothes. Either way, you can’t trust him.